Porn – Destroyer of Men

Recently, I went to a barbering shop to have a haircut. Whilst seated in the barbering chair, there was an African film showing in the background. I intermittently glanced at the television screen and ten minutes into the movie, there was a sex scene. It was so sexual I quickly turned my face to avoid seeing what was happening. Then, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me: “Porn – the destroyer of men”. For those who are new to this blog, I used to be very addicted to pornography (“porn”) until I became born again and by the grace of God, for the past seven years, I have not watched any porn. With God’s help, I have continued to subject myself to strict discipline so I do not backslide.

I grew up in a family of eight. My mother had six children (three boys and three girls). I was the youngest of the boys and I had two big brothers that I looked up to. Every vice I committed, I learnt from them including porn, smoking, masturbation and many more. I cannot recall how old I was but I remember that growing up, I saw snippets of porn for a few seconds on computers or television from my elder siblings. However, the game changed when I was around thirteen or fourteen years.

Our television developed a fault and we got a young guy to fix it. After fixing it, he became friends with my brothers. He had so many cassette tapes of porn that he began to give them to my brothers. I began to watch some of the videos when no one was around and in no time, I became hooked. I began to look for new video tapes every now and then. When cybercafes became a thing, I could spend hours online visiting many porn websites.

I knew so many of them and even began to take notice of the actors and actresses of these ungodly videos. It consumed my mind and for many years, more than twelve to thirteen years I believe, I watched porn and kept archives of my favourite videos. It became an obsession and shortly afterwards, the tendency to masturbate grew along with it. This made watching porn so fun but little did I know that I was destroying my mind, personality and affections.

Watching porn and masturbation feels like a ‘natural’ phase in an adolescent’s life but the truth is that, there are people who get addicted till they leave this world or till it drives them into serious trouble because of the strong spirit of lust associated with it. By watching porn, my mind was always occupied by thoughts of sex and women. I was always looking for girls or women with whom I could try the things I was seeing on video.

Anytime I professed love to a woman, it was mostly based on getting someone who looked like a porn idol. Most men are inclined to love certain kinds of women because of the kind of porn they are exposed to. In my experience, my mind and sight were constantly fixed on a woman with very big breasts or buttocks. My eyes were always wandering around. My heart could burn and yearn for a woman so strongly only for sexual reasons and all this was fuelled by the porn I was watching.

Porn is a destroyer and the first part of you it destroys is your mind. Instead of engaging it constructively to develop good plans for your future and progress in life, it gets you busy, thinking about sex.

Secondly, porn steals the valuable time of men. Today, when I look at the number of hours I have given to porn, I regret it. I spent countless hours behind my laptop/computer and tv watching porn. I could have spent these same hours on something more productive. Porn steals precious time.

Thirdly, porn destroys your affection. The Bible says in Romans 1:26- 27: “For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.”

Porn introduces you to vile passions. Vile means extremely unpleasant. In pornographic movies, you see some scenes in which the actors pretend to enjoy certain sexual acts, inciting you to try it yourself. But then, those acts are against nature. They are only acting and pretence is part of acting. Those scenes do not give you the real picture. Watching porn makes you begin to expect more from your partner.

Many marriages have been destroyed because of partners looking for vile pleasures. Once your partner cannot do exactly what you are looking for, you tend to cheat and look for such sick pleasures elsewhere. What most of you do not know is that God is interested in your sex lives also. The Bible describes instances where certain sexual acts were judged by God. An example is in Genesis 38:9-10:

“But Onan knew that the heir would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in to his brother’s wife, that he emitted on the ground, lest he should give an heir to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord; therefore, He killed him also.”

Our sexual desires and actions must not displease God.

At this point, I would like to talk about how you can beat the addiction to pornography and be set free. The first step to freedom is admission. You need to admit you have a problem and confess your sins to God. He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse you and is also ready to help you. Confess and ask God for help. You should be willing to work together with God to beat this addiction. You can follow these guidelines:

Cut ties with your pornographic suppliers or people who tend to lead you into pursuing this lifestyle/habit. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:22: “Abstain from every form of evil.” Get website blocker apps and plugins on your website. Get rid of friends whose conversations always provoke you to watch porn. Trust God and ask Him for strength and deliverance from this evil addiction.

Renew your mind and bring your mind/thoughts to the obedience of Jesus Christ. You renew your mind by reading the Bible, worshipping and spending time in church or with God in prayer (see Romans 12:1-2). Do not give room to lustful thoughts. Flood yourself with Godly activities and content and always ask yourself, “is what I am doing pleasing to God”?

Do not use porn as a tool to enhance your sex life even as a married couple. It will destroy you. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you and you will marvel at the tips He will give you. The Bible says in John 14:26: “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.” The Bible says He will teach you all things including tips to enhance your romantic life with your spouse. I have had many instances where the Holy Spirit taught me some things.

The Holy Spirit can also empower you with the spirit of contentment, which will take away feelings of dissatisfaction in the bedroom.

Porn’s best friend is isolation. Be accountable to someone you trust; either your spouse, pastor or close friend. You can put measures in place, like allowing them to occasionally view your browsing history, etc. You cannot fight this addiction alone, you need support. Do not allow your mind and ego to tell you that you can beat it alone. Beat it by telling someone. The Bible says in James 5:16: “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” Once light is thrown on the issue, it becomes easier to deal with. Light drives away darkness.

Replace porn with another hobby. If you do not replace it with a new hobby, you might go back to it. Find new hobbies such as reading the Bible and other edifying and educational literature, exercise, etc. Replace porn with movies or documentaries about things you like.

Porn is a demonic canker eating our generation and it is catching on like wildfire. If you have tried the above and it is not working, go to your pastor for deliverance or further help or send me an email iraindolf@gmail.com

PRAYER

MAY THE GOD I SERVE DELIVER YOU FROM THIS ADDICTION AND MAY HE REPLACE THE APPETITE YOU HAVE FOR PORN WITH A LOVE FOR JESUS AND HIS WORD IN JESUS’ MIGHTY NAME.